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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029896">An Omega Is (Pt 1)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstpersoninyourfandom/pseuds/worstpersoninyourfandom'>worstpersoninyourfandom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>She-Ra A/B/O BS [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha Adora (She-Ra), Alpha Scorpia, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra Has Issues (She-Ra), Entrapta/Emily?, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Magic, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Minor Catra/Scorpia (She-Ra), Mutilation, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Omega Catra (She-Ra), Omega Entrapta, Omega Glimmer (She-Ra), Omega!Shadow Weaver, Shadow Weaver made them do it, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, cannon-adjacent, mentions of Glimmer/Bow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:35:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27029896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstpersoninyourfandom/pseuds/worstpersoninyourfandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Catra’s memory had always been faulty. There's so much that has slipped from her grasp, and it quite frankly pisses her off. Being an omega pisses her off too. A reflection on Catra's fucked-up childhood within this 'verse.</p>
<p> Companion piece to An Alpha Is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra &amp; Entrapta (She-Ra), Catra &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra &amp; Scorpia (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>She-Ra A/B/O BS [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>136</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Things Catra Forgot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Catra hurts so pretty, but I promise the love is coming. She deserves it, after this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra wasn’t sure what her first memory was. She wanted it to be the one where she and Adora were playing with blocks, near an uncharacteristically sunny window in the Fright Zone’s nursery. She would be ok with it being one the of the nurses dressing her in her first uniform, a mirco version of the one she grew up to wear. But, try as she might, another, older memory would always surface. Less a memory than an impression, of warmth, soft fur, and gentle purring, quickly replaced with cold hands and shivering shadows. She repressed it, pushed it away, yet it would still surface in dreams. Whenever she would wake from one, she would crawl off her bed, down the ladder to the cot below. Adora snored slightly as a child, and the vibrations took her back to the beginning of the dream, when everything was safe and good. Eventually, her transition to her friend’s bed got earlier and earlier in the night, until she stopped pretending she was going to sleep in her own bed at all. And eventually, the dreams subsided, along with the memories they came from.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Catra’s memory had always been faulty. Adora would laugh and gently remind her of conversations she forgot, bring her her coat when she left in in the training arena, or the showers. It irritated her, the sense of confusion that arose when she looked back in her mind, and she berated herself for it. She knew, for example, that Shadow Weaver’s presence instinctively filled her with fear, but she had no basis for it. Her body remembered what her mind did not, her tail puffing at the Omega’s smell, and her heart racing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>When she was 5, the first bursts of light traced along her fingers. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Adora!” Catra was in awe, racing to tell her best friend. “Look what I can do!” Adora’s eyes sparkled at the sight, full of excitement and pride. It was enough to push Catra to practice, hone her skills until she could pull the lights on command. Every time, Adora gave her the same look, and every time Catra’s heart felt full to bursting. Her power didn’t matter, all that mattered was the way her friend looked at her, like maybe she was worth something.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>It wasn’t long before Shadow Weaver discovered her power. Catra, not yet afraid, not yet broken, showed her eagerly. She made the lights dance along her claws, changing colors reflected in Adora’s eyes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Very good,” Shadow Weaver hummed, “But for now, you mustn’t tell anyone else.” She began to hold Catra back after their lessons, showing her the basics of spell craft. Soon, she could hold a basic light illusion, throw her voice, and levitate a few inches off the ground. The power excited her, but not as much as showing off to Adora. Her friend’s approval meant more to her than any other application. ‘Don’t show anyone,’ meant Lonnie, Kyle, the others who sometimes made fun of her cat-like differences. It didn’t mean Adora. Adora was always the exemption in her mind, the one human she didn’t need to guard herself against. She wasn’t sure if Shadow Weaver was ok yet, despise her non-human nature and the so far lack of bullying. But she knew Adora was her safe place. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Again!” Shadow Weaver commanded her, as she struggled to draw an enchantment circle. Frustrated, Catra kicked the sand, spilling it across Shadow Weaver’s quarters. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Stupid girl,” her mentor chastised, “Clean this up.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m tired,” Catra protested, “I’ve been training all day, first agility, then this!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You won’t amount to anything if you don’t dedicate yourself.” Shadow Weaver pulled in her tendrils, preparing to leave.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’ve already amounted to something.” It was quiet, under her breath, but the sorcerer heard it anyway. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No, you haven’t.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“That’s not what Adora says.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You’ve showed her?” Catra didn’t see the slap coming, just felt the impact as it whipped her around. By the time she got her bearings, Shadow Weaver was back across the room, barely looking at her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Magic is something to be kept private, hidden. There are those who would hurt you for it.” Catra seethed, claws sticking into her palms. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You don’t get to tell me what to do!” she cried, “you’re not even my real mom!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Your real mother didn’t want you, and I understand why. You should be thanking me for trying to make you anything more than a colossal disappointment.” She wasn’t facing Catra anymore, didn’t see the bright chaos surrounding the cat behind her. Catra concentrated her rage into a ball, launched it at the back of Shadow Weaver’s head. The other turned at the last minute, catching the spell in midair. It pushed her back a few feet, but she easily controlled it, absorbing the light. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Very good, Micah,” there was a faraway look in her eyes, like she wasn’t in the room at all. It terrified Catra, and she instinctively put her arms up to shield her face. Shadow Weaver shook her head, coming back to the present. She began to draw a spell circle as she approached Catra, who was now cowering on the ground. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don’t make the same mistakes twice, child. Consider your career as a sorcerer over.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She pushed the spell onto Catra, and everything went dark. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>When Adora asked later about her lessons, Catra simply gave her a confused look.</p>
<p>“Magic’s for scary people, Adora, like princesses and Shadow Weaver.” Confused, Adora didn’t press the issue, not wanting to upset her friend. Eventually, she forgot about it too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Catra, age ten, awoke with a start at the end of Adora’s bed. She felt hot, sweaty, and… sticky? Normally, she only seemed to sweat from her hands and feet, typical for her species, but this seemed to be concentrated between her legs. Uncomfortable, she got up, and headed for the bathroom. There, she discovered that she was, in fact, leaking some sort of slick. She knew she should be worried, but her head felt heavy, full of cotton, and she couldn’t bring herself to mind. More important was a need, amorphous and all-consuming, that filled her thoughts. A need for what, she didn’t know, but she figured she should probably ask Adora for help.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Coming out of the bathroom, she saw Adora was awake. As soon as she smelled her friend, the need became much more concrete, and she had to act. Some ancient part of her biology was telling her she needed to be as close to Adora as possible. She gave in. In Adora’s bed, she couldn’t keep herself from the other cadet. The feeling of skin on skin was exquisite, and she sank into a happy daze. Unaware of her surroundings, she felt Adora pull her somewhere. When they arrived, her temporary happiness was shattered. Shadow Weaver loomed over them, sending chills down her over-heated spine. She didn’t understand what was going on, just heard the words <em>heat, omega, </em>and the disappointment on Shadow Weaver’s tongue. Then the tell-tale darkness closed in again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>She drifted in and out of consciousness for the next few days, kept pliant by her heat and Shadow Weaver’s magic. Something metallic entered her, stretched her out in a way that hurt enough to push through the haze. When she looked up, Shadow Weaver was watching her, impassive. Then it was moving, touching her in places she didn’t know she had, places she would have preferred to keep secret from even herself. The knot, artificial as it was, was enough to calm the fire inside, if only temporarily. She slept, and awoke remembering none of it. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Eventually, one of the older cadets sat her down and explained exactly what it meant to be an Omega. How she would have heats, uncomfortable, delirious, sometimes painful episodes, every few months until she ‘ran out’ in her middle age.</p>
<p>“Why?” she demanded. <em>What had she done to deserve this?</em></p>
<p>“It’s so you can have babies,” the other cadet told her, “It’s like, your main job as an omega. If you’re not ready you have to be careful around Alphas when you’re in heat, else they’ll try to knock you up. There’s like, things you can do to avoid it, but they don’t always work.” Catra didn’t ask what things, since she never spent her heats with an alpha anyway. Or at least the parts she could remember were alpha-free.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the beginning of each heat, before she would be whisked away to Shadow Weaver’s quarters, she would always feel that same magnetism towards Adora that she had felt the first time, the same need for closeness and touch. It only got more intense after Adora presented as an Alpha. Her scent changed. While Catra found it pleasant all the time, she began to know that her heat was approaching as Adora’s smell would become intoxicating. She knew she couldn’t do anything about it, couldn’t act on the feelings it invoked in her for fear of alienating her only friend. Still, she kept sleeping in Adora’s bed, burying her face in heavenly-scented bed clothes, and occasionally awaking sticky between the legs as the last vestiges of a dream about her best friend faded from her memory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her memory only got worse as time went on, until she couldn’t remember her heats at all, nor the period leading up to them. She <em>really</em> didn’t want to ask Shadow Weaver about it, and telling Adora would only worry her. Still, it seems that the gaps in her mind acted like black holes, sucking other memories down into them. She knew she was due for a heat soon, but when asked to go out on a surveillance mission, that thought got sucked down a black hole. So, she agreed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The jungle was hot, humid, with plenty of pitfalls. Adora was close, her intoxicating scent carried out on every breath. Catra had to resist the urge to bare her neck, entice the alpha closer. Still, she had to spare a minute to wipe sweat from her brow, before coming back to reality.</p>
<p>“Catra?” her friend asked, “Are you alright?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” she growled, “Thought I heard something over there, I’ll go check it out.” Anything to get away from her, and from the indecent thoughts their close contact elicited. She slipped away through the foliage, shaking her head to clear it. Something pressed at the edge of her memory, a warning thought that she quickly ignored. She knew it was useless to try and dig up what was lost, it only led to frustration and more confusion. Angry with herself, she slashed her claws through a near-by leaf. Then, the plant struck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, yes, yes please,” Catra moaned, moving so Adora’s hand slipped the last few centimeters to her clit. It felt incredible, better than she ever could have imagined. Adora rubbed circles on the nub before switching her position to slip a finger into her. With her thumb still focused on the clit, she probed deeper, reaching places Catra didn’t even knew existed.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“More,” Catra begged into her neck, beginning to gyrate in Adora’s lap. She added another finger easily, and curled them upwards. Catra’s body shook, pure pleasure radiating out from some secret spot within her. Adora continued to hit the spot over and over, pushing Catra to pant out her orgasm into Adora’s sweaty hair. The smell was incredible. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Adora spread her fingers, testing the stretch of Catra’s inner walls. Another finger, and she curled them again, making Catra shake in her arms. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Please, Alpha, need your knot.” It was all she was able to say, her mind filled with need and with the smell of her friend. Somehow, the fingers retreated, and Catra whined at the loss. But, when she looked up, there was Adora, naked in all her glory, fat cock hanging free. She needed it. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>With one hand remaining on her hip, Adora used her other to quickly lubricate herself with slick. She guided the head of her weeping cock towards Catra’s entrance, and Catra practically slammed her hips down, fully sheathing Adora inside her. It was pure extasy. Adora threw her head back, panting as Catra rode her. She lost her last shred of sanity in the sensation, until her mind was full of nothing but Adora. Insider her, surrounding her with strong arms, rubbing her with nimble fingers, her scent filling her nostrils and her words filling her ears. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Catra, I’m gonna cum,” she warned. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, yes, knot me, please,” Catra chanted. She felt the knot start to swell inside her, hitting all the right places, scratching the ever-present itch of heat. Then, suddenly, she was up and over the precipice, shaking with her second orgasm. She dug her claws into Adora’s back, not caring if she drew blood. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>When she came down, she was granted a moment of lucidity. Afraid she would forget this moment, she knew she had to make her feelings known. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Thank you,” she whispered against the other’s soft skin. Adora wrapped her arms tighter around her in response.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she returned from spending her heat in Shadow Weaver’s quarters, like she always did, Adora was… different. She was asleep when Catra got back, and seemed to be having a nightmare.</p>
<p>“Catra, I can’t,” she moaned, her scent sharp with anguish. <em>Anguish about me? </em>Catra wondered. Not wanting to disturb her friend, she crawled into her own bed. Dark thoughts about what might be causing her friend pain filled her head. <em>Maybe she’s finally realized aligning herself with a weak omega is a bad idea. Maybe she doesn’t know how to let me down easy. Maybe she’d rather hang out with the others, be around other alphas like Lonnie. Maybe she thinks I’m pathetic, using her for protection. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t sleep well that night, but didn’t want to get into Adora’s bed. Instead, she curled into a tight ball, and cried herself to sleep. It would be the last time in her life that she allowed herself such a moment of weakness. In the morning, she left before Adora to head to training, not wanting to make the other feel forced to spend time with her. Adora was awkward for the next week or so, as if she had something on her mind, but Catra didn’t press the issue. She didn’t want to make Adora say the words out loud.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her next heat came and went, and the awkwardness between them passed, Catra’s memory of it sucked down yet another black hole.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Don't Declaw Ur Cats</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Horrible horrible hate myself for writing it.</p><p> </p><p> Update: posted this and then immediately burned my mouth on some FLAMING marijuana so i have been punished don't worry..</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>new tags!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora left, and, despite her track record, Catra just couldn’t forget her. Every morning she’d wake up, in her own bed, surrounded by nothing but her own scent. And every morning, her first thought would be <em>she’s gone.</em> Since her resident black holes chose this moment to stop, or at least decrease their pull, she was forced to make her own solution. It was pointless to spend her days agonizing over someone what had clearly made her choice. <em>Not much of a choice, when one option is as worthless as her. </em>So, she crafted a place in her mind, not a black hole but still a hole, and pushed everything Adora into it. Then she covered it with leaves and sticks and did her best to forget about it.</p><p> </p><p>Without Adora, she started to remember her heats as well. This, more than bittersweet memories of her <em>former </em>best friend, hurt. Previously, the only one she properly remembered featured being locked in part of Shadow Weaver’s quarters, with some sort of device designed to offer omegas a shred of satisfaction without the help of an alpha. The other omega brought her food and water, typically accompanied by snide comments about her state. Now though, she brought other things, alphas.</p><p> </p><p>Though she was pretty sure Shadow Weaver was using her as some sort of bargaining chip to gaining more power and debits within the Horde, Catra didn’t confront her. Without the safety of her black holes, she was acutely aware of how she acted in heat. How she begged for the nameless alphas, regardless of her simultaneous fear. It’s not like she had another option, but she didn’t have to be such a slut about it. Shadow Weaver’s comments circled in her head, and she could hear what the response to such accusations would be. <em>“You seemed to enjoy it, Catra, you’re lucky I’m doing you such a favor. I could just leave you out in the mess hall, leaking that stink, and see what happens?” </em>So, she said nothing, continued pretend as if her heats were a mystery to her.</p><p> </p><p>Then, there was Adora again, looking incredible as usual, fighting her. Ripping her damn heart out. She had thought she was safe, protected and callus, with her pit of <em>Adora</em> safe under its pile of rocks, but the Alpha was stronger, pulling her in with that damn smile. She was going off about justice in a way totally alien to their upbringing. <em>Where was justice when you delivered me to Shadow Weaver’s clutches? Where was justice when you left me at her mercy? </em>Still, she couldn’t bring herself to hurt her <strike>friend</strike>.</p><p> </p><p>She should have.</p><p> </p><p>Back in the fright zone, she tried to sneak back to her cot, lick her wounds. She should have known, she was never afforded such privileges. She didn’t think Shadow Weaver’s powers reached that far, but still felt herself being lifted up, paralyzed, and carried to the sorcerer’s rooms.</p><p> </p><p>“Where is Adora?” Shadow Weaver demanded.</p><p>“She’s gone, she made her choice.” Catra’s tail flicked restlessly by her legs.</p><p>“…what.” It wasn’t a question, it was a demand. Suddenly, the room dropped ten degrees.</p><p>“She got away, she left us for the rebellion,” Catra stepped back from the palpable force of Shadow Weaver’s anger. “You’ve always said Adora was stronger, better than me. I don’t know why you even sent me after her,” she swallowed, “I lost, like usual.”</p><p>This time, she was braced for the slap. Still, it snapped her head to the side, and she saw stars. Just as quickly, her chin was grasped in Shadow Weaver’s gross hand. Her mask was inches from Catra’s face, and she swore she could feel cold breath on her face, despite the lack of a mouth vent.</p><p>“How dare you disrespect me, girl?” Catra wanted to reply with something appropriately snide, but knew to bite her tongue.</p><p>“Tell me, exactly what happened.”</p><p>“Adora’s part of the rebellion, she’s got some sort of big sword now, lots of extra muscles. She’s not coming back.”</p><p>“Then you should have dragged her back.”</p><p>“She’s too strong! You’ve always said so!” Catra couldn’t make eye contact.</p><p>“Don’t lie to me child, I can smell deceit on you.” As if to prove her point, Shadow Weaver put her face near her neck and inhaled. “Stupid omega,” she said, nearly to herself. A pause, and the room got even colder. Catra could feel her tail puffing, her ears flattening, every instinct in in her telling her to run. Still she held her ground. She wasn’t what Shadow Weaver said, she was stronger. <em>Not strong enough to resist Adora. </em></p><p>“Thinking with <em>this,</em>” suddenly, Shadow Weaver’s other hand was between her legs, “Instead of your tiny brain,” she hissed. Catra didn’t think mind-reading was one of Shadow Weaver’s powers, but her next words made her question that.</p><p>“You couldn’t resist Adora, could you? One look from a <em>big, strong </em>Alpha and you turn to jelly.” Catra felt like jelly now, terrified of where the conversation was headed.</p><p>“Isn’t that right?”</p><p>She said nothing, feeling frozen.</p><p>“I said, isn’t that right? Answer me, you dumb slut.”</p><p>“No, I mean yes, yes I was thinking, I just, I wasn’t,” she stuttered. Shadow Weaver slapped her again, but didn’t remove the hand from her crotch.</p><p>“Shut up.” She removed her hand, as if suddenly bored, and walked a few steps away before stopping.</p><p>“I wanted a <em>competent </em>force captain, but without Adora, you’ll have to do. Still I can’t have you thinking with your cunt.” Catra shuddered at the harsh words, but still felt rooted to the spot. It wasn’t until she was lifted that she realized it was magic, not her own fear, that kept her there.</p><p>“Luckily, I can fix that for you.” She drew a spell in the air, and threw it backwards without turning. Suddenly, Catra’s entire lower half felt like it was on fire. She gasped at the pain, writhing against her magical bonds. Barely suppressing a scream, she turned her head towards Shadow Weaver, pleading, with tears in her eyes. The other didn’t even look at her, just waved an arm. She fell to the floor, curled into a fetal position, desperate to ameliorate the pain coursing through her. It was too late.</p><p>Catra drifted, lost in pain. She didn’t notice Shadow Weaver’s approach, barely heard her voice.</p><p>“It’s done, though I doubt you’ll thank me. Ungrateful child.” She prodded Catra with a tendril of shadow. “Get up, you look pathetic like that.”</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, Catra managed to drag herself back to her bed. She was thankful for the private accommodations afforded captains, so she was at least spared her teammate glances and comments. She collapsed in bed, deep shudders wracking her body. The pain of Shadow Weaver’s spell had subsided to a dull ache that radiated out from her groin. She didn’t want to know what the other had done to her body, but she forced herself to look anyway. Her clit had been replaced by a long scar running from the top of her vagina. It was puckered and ugly, but looked as if it had been healing for longer than half an hour. Catra had to resist the urge to vomit, and quickly redressed.</p><p> </p><p>She lay in bed, not thinking, just staring at the ceiling for a long, long time. As the sun began to filter through her windows, she came to a resolution. A hole was not enough. She took all her memories, thoughts, and feelings about Adora, along with pretty much every other good memory she had (there weren’t many that didn’t feature Adora) and shoved them into a lead-lined box. Then she welded the box shut, and shoved it into a far corner of her mind. Then she got out of bed, pinned her badge in place, and went to meet her squad, nothing soft and <em>omega</em> left in her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>don't look at me</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>(but seriously, I'm a vet (((student))), don't declaw your cats its mutilation)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Conceal don't feel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Scorpia says 'only yes means yes', Catra says 'I'll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I'll die', Glimmer says 'wearing a tutu to kick the shit out of ur enemies is valid uwu', also Entrapta is there but just long enough to fuck a robot and get sent to beast island</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Adora, there was Scorpia.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her first heat <em>after, </em>Catra couldn’t bring herself to head to Shadow Weaver’s rooms like normal. She could have, should have, fled in the night, followed Adora’s offer of a new life. But that would have been <em>weak,</em> been exactly what Shadow Weaver expected her to do. And she had purged all such weakness from herself. So she kept her head up, let her face show no indication of the lingering pain, and went about life as usual. And if she was faster to anger, colder to her teammates, or more distant than before, that was no one’s business. When the first signs of heat started, she locked her door and prepared to ride it out alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t go well. The <em>need </em>and the <em>pain </em>intensified, with no outlet. She rubbed herself up against the bed, but her mutilated body was prevented from release. In her delirious state, dark thoughts filled her mind. <em>Stupid weak omega, nothing without an alpha to satisfy you. </em>She wasn’t even sure if the words came from her, they sounded exactly like Shadow Weaver’ voice. Then, suddenly, the other was in the room with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Helpless alone, Catra?” she asked, drifting in through the wall like some malicious specter. “Whatever shall we do with you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t need your help, old woman,” Catra snarled. Or at least, that’s what she meant to say. What came out was somewhere between a yowl and a moan.</p>
<p>“I don’t know why I’m helping you, when all you do is complain.” Catra felt the familiar tendrils wrap around and paralyze her. High off her hormones, she let herself relax into the hold.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then, she was on the floor, and a gentle scent, like salt sea air and apple cider, was all around her. It wasn’t as intoxicating as Adora’s smell had been while she was in heat, but it was still the best thing she had smelled all day. Looking up, there was her newest teammate, the ever-dotty Scorpia. Though in her heat-addled brain, she was the hot-buff-alpha Scorpia. Who was talking to Shadow Weaver.</p>
<p>“Don’t trust her, she’ll use you,” Catra cried, gripping Scorpia’s ankle (since when did she have such nice ankles?) but what came out was a droning squeak.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s your responsibility now,” were Shadow Weaver’ last words before she turned and left. Catra had no idea what was happening, but liked the fact that the source of the scent was getting closer. And then picking her up in super buff arms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok kitty-cat, let’s get you comfy,” Scorpia said, lifting her on to the room’s sparse bed. This, Catra understood, and started to disrobe.</p>
<p>“Woah, um, not like that,” the alpha averted her eyes. “Pretty sure you’re not actually interested in me, and I am <em>not</em> that kind of alpha.” She turned and started rummaging in her drawers while Catra pouted, and tried rubbing herself on the bed instead. It did nothing.</p>
<p>“Hurts, alpha,” she whined. Scorpia threw something soft at her, which turned out to be a t-shirt. It smelled good, so Catra put it on. Suddenly exhausted, she crawled under the Scorpia-scent blankets.</p>
<p>“I don’t like this any more than you, Catra, but I won’t have sex with you in such a, um, disadvantaged state?” it was more like a question than a statement, and Catra took pity on her partner.</p>
<p>“Can you at least touch me? Makes it hurt less,” she whispered, loath to admit such weakness.</p>
<p>“Sure,” Scorpia seemed to reax at that. “Just cuddling?”</p>
<p>“Just cuddling,” she nodded, the urgency of earlier fading with the calm scent of the alpha filing her nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It took three heats of Scorpia being ‘in charge’ of her before they fucked. She wasn’t sure if Shadow Weaver had been trying to boost the alpha’s morale, control her behavior, or curry favor with the once (and future) princess, but either way it didn’t work. Scorpia still refused to ‘take advantage.’ Eventually Catra got so fed up that she broke her internal rule of ‘let’s not talk about it until I’m too far gone to make good choices’.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Scorpia, you aren’t gonna break me.”</p>
<p>“Uh?” the other was bent over a Padd, desperately trying to make it work with her claws.</p>
<p>“Like, if we fuck, you won’t damage me.”  <em>I’m already too damaged.</em></p>
<p>“Oh, that’s what you’re talking about.” Scorpia looked relieved for a second, and then concerned again. “But you don’t want it, it’s not right.”</p>
<p>“Well the thing is,” she took a deep breath, and dug her claws into her hands, “I do want it. Heat hurts and getting knotted helps and I don’t like want to be your mate or whatever, but I do consent.”</p>
<p>“To sex?” Scorpia confirmed.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So they fucked, and it was surprisingly good. Scorpia didn’t say anything about her mutilation, or about being called “Adora” in bed. She was a very attentive lover, and though she couldn’t make Catra cum, her knot was just right to tamp down the cravings of heat. And maybe things were a little better between them after that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After Adora, there was Entrapta.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And Catra hadn’t been around many other omegas before, only Kyle and Shadow Weaver. She certainly had never been friends with one before, if they could be considered friends now. But it was nice to feel less guarded around her. Omegas felt less threatening. In fact, Catra felt almost protective? of the purple-haired girl. But that was weak, so she shoved it away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Entrapta went into heat the first time since joining them, Catra panicked. <em>Have to keep her safe, keep her pure. </em></p>
<p>“Don’t look at me,” was Scorpia’s helpful reaction, “I’m Catra’s alpha.”</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t worry about me!” Entrapta quipped, “Emily has lots of helpful settings!” And the two of them disappeared into the vents.</p>
<p>“I’m not your omega,” Catra snarled at Scorpia.</p>
<p>“Woah, woah,” she put her claws up defensively, “I didn’t say that.”</p>
<p>“You just did! To Entrapta!”</p>
<p>“I think I can still be your alpha, even if you’re not my omega.” She smiled and patted Catra, who had her head buried in her hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It turns out Entrapta <em>really</em> didn’t need protecting, based on how fast she cozied up to Hordak. If their illustrious leader wasn’t the epitome of beta, she would think they were mated. And something about that snuck under Catra’s skin, burned there, annoying at the edge of her conscious. It wasn’t Entrapta’s place of privilege in the Horde, she knew she still ranked higher as a Captain. And, they filled very different roles. No, it was the fact that she didn’t have to fight to get there. Neither did Scorpia, but Catra had always attributed that to the other’s alpha status. Entrapta was an omega, a relatively small and physically weak one at that, but she had just sauntered in and placed herself at the helm. And no one questioned it. She was never lesser for her orientation. In fact, Catra began to realize that’s how it had been when Shadow Weaver joined the Horde as well. For some reason, it was only her, only Catra who had to claw her way tooth and nail, prove herself as being better than her orientation at every corner. She hated it. The hate burned under her skin, and she began to resent the purple-haired princess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then Entrapta was the one protecting her, and she had to amend some of the dislike.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Out in the Crimson Wastes, she learned why she had been hardening herself so long. There was no way she could have survived the mission otherwise. And there was no way she could have survived without Scorpia, loath as she was to admit it.</p>
<p>“Catra, we could stay here,” Scorpia pleaded. “Take care of each other, get away from the Horde.”</p>
<p>“It’s all I’ve known Scorp, how would we even survive?”</p>
<p>“We’d have each other, you’d have me.”</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>“As… a mate. If you’d take me.”</p>
<p>“You know I can’t.” Catra looked away, hiding her shining eyes. She wanted, desperately, to say yes, but shoved that, along with whatever good feelings she had for Scorpia, deep down. <em>You know what happens when you get attached.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Back in the Horde, her worldview was reaffirmed. Double Trouble helped. Like recognizes like, and Catra saw in them another omega doing what they had to to survive. Tooth and nail. She respected them, though was somewhat jealous of the fact their shapeshifting allowed them to hide their secondary gender. She wasn’t even surprised when they betrayed her and the Horde. <em>Do what you have to. </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>And when it was Entrapta, bubbly and innocent and pure and powerful, resisting her, she didn’t have to hesitate to light up the shock wand. <em>Every omega has to learn some time. </em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>After Adora, there was… Glimmer?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the Velvet Glove, time seemed to pass differently than on Etheria. The clones didn’t need to sleep, they would simply plug in to recharge after a shift was over. Horde Prime himself set his own time, completely divorced from the cycles of the planet below. Catra slept, sometimes. She explored the ship, sometimes, but mostly got lost. Randomly, it seemed, she would be called to talk to Prime. It seemed more like he was playing with her though, poking at her for a reaction for his own benefit. But, even these meetings were few and far between. Without the press of the Horde, at least the Etherian contingent, around her, she found much of vitriol that filled her days started to dissolve. There was no longer anywhere to aim it, besides Prime, and even she wasn’t that reckless. Without her anger to sustain her, there stretched a whole world of <em>nothing </em>in front of her. There was no one to pester, outwit, nothing to gain, or to work for. The clones offered nothing in the way of conversation, and she certainly didn’t want to delve into her own mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Again, and again, she found herself lurking in the shadows outside Glimmer’s cell. <em>I’m turning into fucking Shadow Weaver.</em> The thought caused actual, physical pain to shoot through her chest. Surprised by the visceral reaction, she pushed it away, unwilling to explore the source.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lurking progressed to talking, and Catra found herself being much more candid than she should have been.</p>
<p>“Why do you dress so, sparkly, Sparkles?”</p>
<p>“I’m a queen, it’s part of the look. And I like my clothes,” she replied, plucking at the hem of her dress.</p>
<p>“Yeah but like, aren’t queens supposed to inspire, and like, instill confidence? Hard to be intimidating in head to toe purple.”</p>
<p>“Hey! I inspire confidence! And you’ve seen me fight, I can be plenty intimidating.”</p>
<p>“I’ll give you that, your little squad does seem to follow you. Even She-Ra. Not this time though, huh?”</p>
<p>Glimmer didn’t reply, and Catra worried she had gone too far. <em>What a weak thought, who cares if I hurt some dumbass princess omega’s feelings. </em></p>
<p>“Hey, all I meant was, don’t all the frills seem a bit, well, <em>omega</em>?”</p>
<p>“That’s never been a problem for me.”</p>
<p>“You mean you’ve never gotten shit for being an omega leader?”</p>
<p>“I mean, sure, some, but I certainly don’t feel the need to prove myself to my people though how I dress<em>.</em> I think my actions speak well enough for me.” She seemed to think a minute, and her face fell. “I thought I was a good queen. I had no idea what I was doing, did I?”</p>
<p>Catra had no idea what to say to that. It struck a little too close to home, though she had yet to question herself out loud. So she said nothing, for fear of what she might say. The silence stretched long between them. Uncharacteristically, it was Catra who broke it, again.</p>
<p>“I’m sure Adora likes the look though. Kinda goes with the whole She-Ra vibe.”</p>
<p>“I don’t really think she cares if we match.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” It was too eager, too practiced nonchalance.</p>
<p>“Oh, you think I like her, don’t you?” Glimmer actually laughed at that, full bodied in a way Catra hadn’t seen. She wiped a tear from her eye, as the other spluttered.</p>
<p>“That’s like, kissing your sister or something!”</p>
<p>“I mean,” Catra backtracked, “I assumed, she’s kinda a prime alpha and all.” She wanted to take that back as soon as she said it, but the ease of the conversation had lulled her into a false sense of security.</p>
<p>“No way, if anything, I actually kinda fancy Bow.” The way her cheeks tinged pink showed it wasn’t a lie.</p>
<p>“Bow, the archer?” <em>The beta?</em></p>
<p>Glimmer nodded sheepishly.</p>
<p>“The one who always wears crop tops? Isn’t he like, gay?”</p>
<p>“Didn’t we just have a whole conversation about how clothes don’t define role?”</p>
<p>“…yes.”</p>
<p>“I have no idea why I’m telling you this,” Glimmer laughed, almost to herself “Guess I can’t really tell anyone else.”</p>
<p>“Not even Adora?” It was like a bruise Catra couldn’t help poking. The sealed chest in the back of her brain was unstable, and she just couldn’t help but shake it.</p>
<p>“Oh god no, she can’t keep a secret to save her life.” Glimmer laughed.</p>
<p>“Oh, believe me, I know. She’d probably end up telling him on accident.” They both laughed at that, falling over with tears in their eyes, doing their best Adora impressions.</p>
<p>The silence that followed was much more companionable, and this time, it was Glimmer who broke it.</p>
<p>“She still loves you, you know.”</p>
<p>The words were a torch, searing, burning on her chest, in her heart, too hot, too bright. Catra stood, angerly, and paced away, tail flicking behind her. She wanted to cut back with something, refute the statement, deny her own feelings, but she didn’t want Glimmer to see the tears in her eyes.</p>
<p><em>Stupid stupid weak weak weak.</em> And then, <em>why the FUCK do I sound like Shadow Weaver?</em></p>
<p>She rounded on herself, claws dug deep into her palms, fell to her knees in the dark shadows of the ship, alone as she had always wanted. Tears fell down her face, but she barely noticed, too caught up in her own inner turmoil. Alone, so alone. She had made herself this way. Or maybe, she had been made this way. Mutilated, body and soul.</p>
<p>Catra struck out, shoved her claws deep into the metal walls of the ship, and finally, finally let herself feel. Let herself sob, full body like she needed, uncaring who heard.</p>
<p>And, deep in her mind, the box opened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>(Just one good thing, just</p>
<p>One</p>
<p>Good</p>
<p>Thing)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ok, this got way longer than i anticipated. still got more stories for this universe. next up is either a seamista spin off or 'Adora has no idea how to be in a relationship because she's literally never had a positive model ft. Micah talking about bondage' because when ur the worst ur the worst every day</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hold up ya'll, next chapter gets ~worse~<br/>Hope no one I know ever sees this bc it will get into some strange territory </p>
<p> </p>
<p>also full offense i ony write drubnk so if you do know me thats why</p></blockquote></div></div>
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